“So many of our dreams seem at first impossible. Then they seem improbable. And then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”
Happy New Year! I hope you have all had a great holiday season!
Christmas Party 2014
Our final day of term at Makers was like the last day of term at school, everyone was winding down and had thoughts set on the holiday season. The Makers Academy Christmas party was great, there were speeches from Sam and Evgeny highlighting how Makers has grown and to remind everyone the Makers ethos… In particular to become knowledge predators!
I was really glad to have two weeks to relax, reassess and move forward with my learning.
I was set two challenges, to create a takeaway program and to redesign my own ‘inject’ method. I had already set my own goals to work my way through ‘The Well Grounded Rubyist. Then, as I was about to settle into the holidays, I received an email with five more tasks to work through over the two weeks… WHAT????? Panic set in…
I have not relaxed the last two weeks.
So what is it?
I could not figure out what was wrong. I tried to relax but my neck and shoulders have been so tense, I tried to code but my heart was not in it. It has taken me until now to work out what it is…
I am afraid that I have not been learning as much as I could have been.
I am afraid that I am falling behind everyone else.
I am afraid that I will not pick up coding.
I am afraid that I have left a secure job.
I am afraid I may have made an expensive mistake.
I am afraid of failing!!!!
How can I be in the right mindset to learn if I have all of this hanging over me?
I realise I have not learnt an important lesson.
My fiancée and I had planned a magical weekend in Pembrokeshire which, although I was there, I missed out because my mind was on coding so I did not appreciate the tranquil beauty of my surroundings. Furthermore, my worries have manifested into negative energies which, as much as I did not want it to, it has also affected my fiancée. It has been a tough two weeks for us.
During times that I did spend coding, my mind was wandering elsewhere and I would be easily distracted, for example buying bioethanol gel for our indoor burner, buying a new desk, hotels in Santorini, to name but a few.
A gentle reminder to myself…
The holiday served to remind me of this lesson… to be fully present, to be fully committed in what I am doing, and to live life in this way, and in so doing, my experiences would be richer.
The quote above from Nelson Mandela was brought to my attention at a time when I needed to be reminded. When I started this journey, I had my dreams of what I wanted to become. I had forgotten that vision, replacing the dreams with fears.
I have summoned the will to learn again and I am fully committed. I will go into 2015 with the mindset that there is no failure or success, only to experience life completely.
2015… Give it me with both barrels!!!!
I am back at Makers tomorrow when we will be creating a user interface for our Battleships game. This will be fun and this time next week I may have a game for you to play at home…